Fallen Angels
by write4evr
Summary: Jace smokes, Alec cuts himself, Isabelle has bulimia, Magnus is anerexic, Clary is suicuidal, and Simon drinks. They all have problems that they don't know how to fix. But will the solution to all of their problems end up being each other? All human btw
1. Chapter 1

**Mmmkay, so once again I've decided to start something new when I should be working on the stuff that I've already started. But I got the idea…and I just liked it too much to **_**not **_**type it, so enjoy :)**

**Chapter One**

(Clary POV)

I'd had enough. I was sick of feeling alone, having no purpose, feeling guilty everyday for the mistakes I'd made and the people I'd hurt.

I'd been stupid and someone else had paid for it.

Guilty.

That had changed me in such a way that I'd lost who I had left.

Lonely.

I fell into something like depression. The counselors didn't help. I gave up on drawing and everything else that I loved.

Purposeless.

And now I had reached my breaking point. I'd seen it coming though. Last week I'd written a letter to my mom…telling her that what I was going to do was _not _her fault. I'd thought about it too. It's not like this was something I was just randomly doing. No, I'd thought about it and now I was doing it. At this point, the thought of the end was too sweet to resist.

The air on that roof was so cold, so calm…I knew it was snowing, I could see it, but I'd been up there so long that I'd gone numb and I just couldn't feel it anymore. That drove me even closer to the edge. Numb, that's what I was. Emotionally numb. I could have lived with the pain. But then I just couldn't feel anything even though I _knew _I should been feeling _something. _Pain. Sadness. Loneliness. I knew it was there, but I couldn't feel it. It was maddening.

I closed my eyes and felt the shock of hot tears on my frozen cheeks. As they fell I counted off all of the reasons that I was here. Tear one, reason one. Tear two, reason two. Tear three, reason three…

By reason six, I was at the very edge of that roof and I was ready. Ready to jump.

Ready to end my life.

(Jace POV)

It was freezing cold, and my light sweatshirt wasn't doing much to keep me warm. Well really, I shouldn't have to be walking around at one in the morning in the middle of a freaking blizzard-ok, that's an exaggeration, there was no blizzard but _still_-but I was. Thanks a lot dad. If you weren't such an ass hat I could still be sitting at home doing nothing like every other kid in this city.

Did it bother me that my dad was a completely abusive spaz? It used to. At this point though, I'd kind of gotten used to it. I had, at some point in my life, found a way to not care. To just take what came and get over it. Whatever he did he was doing because he wanted me to be great anyway, so I could live with what he did.

Most of the time.

Sometimes though, I just had to get out of the house. Give him his time to cool down, give myself _my _time to cool down. But that was another thing. I was never anything _but _cooled down. I didn't feel like I had any energy left in me…nothing got me going. I went through my days as a tired, unenergetic _mess. _

That is, until I found the world's greatest stimulant. Cigarettes were a _great _way to get your heart pumping. Of course, they were also a great way to _stop _your heart from pumping, but when that day came then what the hell, there was no point to me living anyway.

I'd gone maybe four blocks when I started to feel tired, _emotionally _tired, and unenergetic and just…blah. So I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out my lighter. From my other pocket I drew my always handy pack of cancer sticks. I was just about to light one when something bright caught my attention. I looked up and there was…a girl on top of one of the buildings roofs. Her hair was bright, fiery red, which was what caught my attention. I looked on in an almost daze. What was she doing up there?

And then it hit me. Oh dear God. She was going to jump. Normally, I would have just kept on walking. What could I do? I didn't know her, and I couldn't help. I mean maybe I could call someone else, but who? The police? Ya, that would have been good.

But this was different. Seeing her, for some unknown reason, brought color into my life, which was something usually only smoking could do.

I shoved the lighter and the cigarettes back into my pockets and ran around to the other side of the building, looking for the fire escape stairs.

I couldn't let that girl jump.

(Isabelle POV)

When my stomach was empty I took a few deep breaths and straightened up. I rinsed out my mouth and then grabbed my toothbrush. I examined myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth.

I had to be _perfect_.

And I think I was. My stomach was totally flat. My hair was perfectly straight. My face was pore less and my blue eyes shown.

Ya, maybe it took a lot to keep myself that way, but it was worth it. The weekly hair appointments and spa treatments for my skin were worth the money. And I didn't mind paying the price for staying skinny either.

I mean, throwing up wasn't exactly _fun, _but it was worth it. Perfection was worth it. If I was going to be anything like my fashion model mother, then I had to be perfect.

If that meant spending God knows how much on hairdressers and fancy spa shit for my skin and throwing up most everything that I ate then so be it.

I had to stay on top and be loved by everyone. It was a necessity for me. Well…maybe _loved_ wasn't the word, because I was sure that some people just loved me for how I looked and the parties I got invited to and my mom, but whatever.

I'd abandoned finding _real _love from _real _friends and a boy who really _did _love me when I was thirteen and my parents got divorced.

Who needed real love from others when you could have the much easier to get, much less risky fake love of others? I mean, I was Isabelle Lightwood, I was going to be a big shot model just like my mom someday, and I didn't need _anyone._

Or so I told myself.

(Simon POV)

I don't know want went wrong with me, but something did. I used to have plenty of friends, and then I didn't. And when I didn't, I got used to it, and I didn't try to make any new ones. I closed myself off from other people. It was safer that way, safer to be alone.

Ya, safer. But it was also really boring, and really lonely. I was like…behind a wall. A big cold wall and it was kind of depressing. Sometimes I really wished I could make friends again. But I didn't know how, and people had gotten used to leaving me alone, so when I felt like I wanted friends again I just dismissed it.

Really, there were only two things I let myself want: Isabelle Lightwood, and alcohol.

Isabelle was the most perfect, beautiful girl that I could think of. She topped Megan Fox. No joke. She was amazing. And her personality? Ya, she wasn't just a heartless popular bitch.

She was funny and smart and caring and loud and energetic and…everything. She didn't show it, but I knew. Isabelle used to be one of my closest friends. That was years ago, but I didn't want to believe that she really _had _changed and she really _was _a heartless popular bitch.

But Isabelle was out of the question. She's started to avoid me after her parents got a divorce, and God knew now I was nothing but an antisocial loser.

And so that was where the alcohol came in.

What can I say? It's a great filler for all I didn't have.

(Alec POV)

I gasped as the razor cut my skin. It only hurt for a second though, and then the shock wore off and it was nothing but a dull sting, and then a dull throbbing. I watched the blood seep out of the cut, not thinking about anything but the throbbing. As the blood seeped out I imagined all of my emotional pain disappearing, bleeding out with the blood.

It was a nice thought. I watched quietly, not moving an inch, until the blood slowed down. Then I started to wipe the blood off of my arm with a wet wash cloth. Soon that would scab over, and after that another scar would show up on my arm. I didn't even care though. Those scars were like…a reminder of the release that came with the pain.

They were also a reminder of the reason I cut myself in the first place, though.

I couldn't help that I was gay. And I couldn't help that my dad hated me because he's a homophobe. I also couldn't help that it's my little 'sister' Isabelle's fault that I was out of the closet in the first place.

I was only really happy about one thing in life, and that was that my parents were divorced and I didn't have to live under the same roof as Isabelle.

I looked down at my arm. I wasn't bleeding anymore. I stood up, grabbed my sweatshirt, pulled it on, shoved the razor blade into my pocket, and walked quietly out of the apartment.

(Magnus POV)

I was seriously about to cave. Maybe walking around wasn't the best way to get my mind off of food. I mean…there were places _everywhere_ and every time someone would walk out and open the door I would get hit by the smell of whatever was cooking in there and damn…

But I couldn't eat. I'd completely lost it and had an apple this morning when I shouldn't have eaten _anything _and now I'd probably gained back some of what I'd lost. That was _not _what I needed. I was fat enough.

I sighed and walked back towards my apartment building. I was freezing cold-which was what I got for walking around in the snow without a jacket-and I just wanted to lock myself in my bedroom and do something distracting so maybe my stomach would stop rumbling at me.

I was a block away from my apartment building when I accidently bumped into someone. The stranger and I both stumbled back a few steps, and the other person put both of their hands in front of them to steady themselves. When they did the left sleeve of their sweatshirt fell down and I almost gasped out loud at all of the little scars on their arm.

I tore my eyes away from the strangers arm and looked up to see that this person wasn't a _total _stranger. I recognized him instantly. He lived in the same apartment building I did, thought I wasn't sure what his name was.

He pulled his sleeve back down and mumbled 'sorry'. I shook my head. "It's ok; it's my fault as well. I wasn't paying attention." He nodded. "Ya, well it's fine. I wasn't paying attention either." He said. He was only a bit shorter than me, and his black hair was in its normal messy state, his blue eyes subdued. I nodded. "Like I said, it's fine. Hey you uh…don't just so happen to live in the apartment building like a block away, do you?" I ask, even though I already know he does. He nods. "I do actually…" He says, getting a look on his face like he's wondering how I knew that. "Oh, so do I. I'm Magnus." I say, extending one of my hands. "Alec." He replied, shaking my hand with his _right _hand. I took notice of that because the scars are on his left arm.

"Well it's nice to meet you Alec. I'd better be getting back though. It's freezing." I said. He nodded. "Ya, that's true. I guess I'll see you around." He said. I smiled. "Ya, see you around." I said, and then we both went our separate ways.

When I was back in my apartment I plopped down on the coach. Wow, Alec was adorable. But he cut himself. A boy like him shouldn't have any reason to cut himself, and whoever was giving him a reason to should have their ass kicked. And I'd personally kick it if I ever found out who that person was.

**Omg, all of these guys are sooo depressing. But I'm hoping if this wasn't a totally flop then the next chapter won't be as bad. :) Alright, well did you like it? Is it worth continuing? Review and let me know, k? Luv yall!**

**~Kenzie**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, well I'm glad this story wasn't a total fail. Here's chapter zwei (two…I'm trying to learn German XD) so…enjoy! **

**Chapter Two**

(Jace POV)

Once I got to the roof, I didn't know what to do. Should I say something? Well yeah, but what? 'Hey, how's it going, you really shouldn't jump. I hear it hurts'. Yeah, that would be real helpful.

"Hey." I said just to get her attention. She turned her head slightly and her eyes met mine. They were a bright, shocking green. She looked away from me again and didn't reply. "You know," I started as I walked a bit closer to her, "you really shouldn't do that." She chuckled humorlessly. "No? And why is that?" She asked sharply. I drummed my fingers against my leg. "Well someone's going to miss you, obviously." I said. Wow, that was the all time weakest thing I'd ever said. If the roles were reversed and she'd said that to me, I would have jumped just to get away from the stupid reason. "Oh yeah? And how would you know that?" She asked, her voice dripping something like sarcasm. I shrugged even though she wasn't looking at me. "There's always someone." I said. She didn't reply. "Come on, there has to be someone you can think of. How about your parents?" I suggested.

She shook her head, her red hair flying in the wind. "It's just my mom." She said quietly. I swallowed. "Oh. Well then…she'd miss you." I said. The girl shrugged. "Maybe." She said. I sighed. "Listen whatever your name is…we've all got problems. I myself have problems, and most of the time I sure as hell am not happy, but I'm not standing on the edge of a roof." I said. She didn't say anything, but I saw her shift from foot to foot uncomfortably. That made me nervous. What if she was doing that and she slipped?

I walked even closer so that I was almost right beside her. "Come on," I started softly, "don't jump." She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. I held my hand out for her and waited. She was either going to take it, or she was going to jump. I had either failed or succeeded. It was all up to her. We stood in silence for a few minutes, the only sound around us the howling wind and the cars from a few streets over.

I'd been looking at the street below us when I felt her small, cold hand in mine. I closed my fingers around hers and helped her jump down off the ledge. She wouldn't meet my eyes for a few minutes, and I didn't let go of her hand. When she did look at me her expression was so broken it hurt _me_. "I didn't mean for it to happen." She whispered in a broken voice. I didn't know what she was talking about, but it didn't really matter. An uneven sob ripped through her and I pulled her close to me.

I hardly knew this girl-that was an understatement, I didn't even know her _name_-but she needed help and I was willing to give it. I kept my arms around her and moved us both slowly away from the edge of the roof towards the middle.

Eventually she stopped crying and she pulled away from me quickly. She watched me cautiously as she backed away from me. "Why did you do that?" She asked. I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I felt like being a hero or something." I replied. She nodded slowly. "Ok. Well…I guess that I should thank you, but I won't. You didn't have to do that." She said. "Yeah, but I did it anyway." I replied. She glared at me. "Maybe I didn't want you to."

"Ok. Well then if that's really how you feel then how about you go ahead and jump. I won't stop you this time." I said, crossing my arms. That was such a lie. If she made a move towards that roof I'd tackle her. No, seriously. I didn't need to see someone pitch them self off a roof. She put her hands on her hips and turned to leave. "Hey!" I called after her. "What?" She snapped, whipping around to look at me. "What's your name?" I asked. She looked me over for a few minutes before answering. "Clary." She said, and then she turned and hurried down the fire escape.

I stayed where I was until she'd turned a corner and I couldn't see her anymore, and then I went in the opposite direction. I didn't want her to think I was following her.

It took fifteen minutes of walking and a cigarette for me to realize that I'd just saved a life.

(Clary POV)

I'd like to think that I ran home, but in all honestly what I did was _stumble _home. I tried to run, but I couldn't stop crying, which made it hard to see, and I kept slipping on ice.

What I'd just almost done wouldn't leave me alone. I wanted to get away from the feeling of desperation that had gotten me to the edge of that roof in the first place, but it was following me, chasing me, haunting me.

If it hadn't been for that boy…

I bit my lip and tried to move faster. I didn't want to think about it.

When I finally got home I walked quickly and quietly into the kitchen and took the letter I'd written for my mom off of the table. I stared at it without really seeing the words, but they were playing over in my head anyway. I had it all memorized.

As I walked slowly into my room, I thought about what I'd almost done. I couldn't do that again, not even if I wanted to.

And God, did I want to. But at the same time, I knew I couldn't. That boy had been right. I couldn't do that to my mother. I'd put her through enough pain already. She didn't need for me to die.

Or…did she? Would it make things better for her if I wasn't around anymore? If I was a constant reminder of what she'd had…then how could she _not _want me to be gone? And how could she stand me anyway? I'd caused all of her pain. All of it. I groaned. These were all things that I'd thought of before. Maybe my mom wasn't the reason I didn't jump.

Maybe it was the way that boy, a random stranger, had cared enough to stop me. Yeah, that was it. A stranger had just saved my life, and I'd had nothing civil to say to him. I had to see him again. To thank him. And maybe to get his name.

I didn't want to have to call him 'that boy' every time I thought of him.

(Alec POV)

The day that I hate the most every month is the say that my parents stuck me and Isabelle together so that we could have some 'brother/sister bonding time'. It was stupid. Totally pointless. We never did anything but sit around at which ever house we were at, staring blankly at the TV or just wandering around until the day was over. We basically just ignored each other as much as possible.

I looked over at Isabelle when she let out a loud, dramatic sigh, making it hard for me to just ignore her. "Bored, are we?" I asked as I leaned my head back against the coach and put my hands over my eyes. "Yeah. What do you _do _around here all day?" She asked, and though I wasn't looking at her I was guessing that she was looking around in disgust. I bit my lip hard and shook my head. Fighting with Isabelle right now wouldn't make this day any better. Yeah, stick me and Isabelle in a house alone together for a day, that's great.

Our parents are such dips. This wasn't going to magically make us the perfect, best friend kind of siblings. It's just going to make things worse.

"Alec can I just…" "No." I cut in. I shouldn't let her go anywhere without me, because God knows that if something, _anything, _happened to her it would be all my fault. "Well why not? You aren't the boss of me." She said, her voice taking on a sassy tone. I opened my eyes and glared at her. "I am, actually. And I'm not letting you out." "Well _why not?" _She whined, crossing her arms over her chest. "Because I don't need our parents hating me anymore than they already do all because _you _had to go out and goof around instead of staying here." I snapped, glaring at her. She huffed and leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well you know what, it's all your fault that they hate you, so there." She said.

I stared at her. Isabelle had a way of pushing people's buttons and getting on their nerves, and I had a way of letting her get to me. "What do you mean it's _my fault?" _I asked in disbelief. She leaned forward a bit, smirking now. "I mean it's _your fault. _They hate you because you're gay. And not only that, but I do believe that played a huge part in their marriage going down the drain. So yeah, it's your fault."

_Ouch. _"Yeah? Well whose fault is it that they know I'm gay in the first place, huh Isabelle?" I threw back at her. Her blue eyes narrowed and she shot up. "Screw you Alec. I don't care what you say, I'm _leaving." _She said, and I made no move to stop her as she went towards the door. "Fine, you do that. I really don't care." I said, leaning back against the coach. "You cared a few minutes ago." She said sharply. "I know. And then I realized that I have no reason to worry. Nothing's going to happen to you," I said calmly, and then I paused before I added, "I couldn't get that lucky."

"Ass hole." I heard her mutter before the door slammed and everything went quiet. I breathed out shakily and closed my eyes, trying not to think too hard about what Isabelle had said about me being the reason my parents had split up. She was wrong. She'd just wanted to get on my nerves. That was all.

And even while I knew that that's all Isabelle had been trying to do, it still hurt me. Because a little part of me knew that my sister was _right._

**Mkay, so this chapter was going to be a lot longer than I'd like if I put everyone's POVs in it, so I'll just put the other three guys in chapter three. With that said, what did you think? Was it good? Or…horrible? Or maybe you just don't care (I DID keep you waiting forever for an update after all…). Anyway, review and tell me what you think :) Luv yall!**

**~Kenzie**


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